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Movie review by Jeffrey M. Anderson , Common Sense Media. Popular with kids Parents recommend. Extremely vulgar comedy also has some genuine sweetness. R minutes. Rate movie. Watch or buy. Based on 40 reviews. Based on reviews. Get it now Searching for streaming and purchasing options Common Sense is a nonprofit organization.
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As a woman watches, a talking teddy bear makes a series of sexual gestures: The bear thrusts his hips sexually against a counter, he then implies oral sex by provocatively eating a candy bar and then crudely implies having a man climax on the bear's face by squirting lotion on his face and in his eye the woman acts disgusted. A man asks a talking teddy bear if he had been engaged in sex on top of produce sold by a store, and the talking teddy bear elaborates that he had sexually pleasured a woman with a piece of produce that he later sold to a family.
A man and a woman make a series of crude sexual jokes about oral sex after a man remarks that he "does not swallow. A talking teddy bear tells a man that he had sex with a woman; the woman makes a comment about the teddy bear's sexual performance despite not having genitals and the teddy bear jokes that he has written many letters of complaint about not having genitals. A man tells another man and a talking teddy bear that they need to have sex with a lot of women named Stephanie. Behind a man's back, a man says, "I'm going to have sex with your girlfriend.
The narrator explains that a bear had been caught eating potato salad off a woman's bare buttocks. A talking teddy bear makes a crude remark about a man trying to have anal sex with a woman a couple of times. A man makes a crude joke to a woman that if he gets raped, it would be his fault because of what he is wearing.
A talking teddy bear half-jokingly remarks that a man and a boy could be father and son or lovers. A talking teddy bear makes a sexual remark that he would have sex with an object if it were a human. A man shows another man what appears to be a metal lump; the man explains that it is a man's testicle that had been freeze-dried and then bronzed. A talking teddy bear makes a joke that he is having dinner with gays because they were eating turkey burgers.
We see a woman wearing a towel and a talking teddy bear remarks that he is not looking up the woman's towel at her "funny business. A woman wears an extremely tight, cleavage-exposing dress. After talking to a bunch of moms as well as some Hollywood marketing executives, I think I can sketch out a few plausible theories. First off, the film benefited in a big way from we might call the Seth MacFarlane Factor.
I suspect many moms were subconsciously drawn to the film because of the bear. Movie marketers view it pretty much the same way. It comes off as far more of a harmless fantasy than if Wahlberg was getting stoned with Owen Wilson. By the time the movie opened, fans were tweeting about the packed theaters and sharing great moments from the film.
The positive buzz created what movie marketers call a collective sense of momentum for the film. Mark Wahlberg, left, hangs out with his best friend -- his teddy bear -- in the R-rated comedy 'Ted. Not only does that sound like the foundation for a saccharine-drenched, family-friendly slog about the importance of friendship and loyalty and yadda yadda yadda, but somewhere in the dusty discount bin at your local Walmart, there's probably evidence that it has been done before.
But that's not what "Ted" is. Not by a bleep ing long shot. A very R-rated shock comedy with a mile-wide blue streak, the unapologetically raw -- and very funny -- "Ted" imagines what happens 25 years after that fateful wish.
As it turns out, that one-time little boy played as an adult by Mark Wahlberg , reverting to his native Boston accent , has grown older, and the stuffed animal he wished to life has grown older right along with him. The catch: neither has necessarily grown up. They're still "thunder buddies," but they're loserly ones. So the licentious Ted -- once celebrated by the tabloid press, now all but forgotten by it -- lives out his depressing, post-celebrity life on Wahlberg's couch in Boston.
They swear, they drink, they smoke pot, they watch and re-watch "Flash Gordon.
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